Vaginal Pain - Managing Relationship with Your Partner

VagiNAL pain

managing your relationship

Vaginal pain can be caused by a variety of medical conditions including bacterial vaginosis, Chlamydia infection, herpes, lichen planus or even yeast infections. Other causes include Bartholin’s cysts, abscesses, or sexually transmitted diseases. Vaginal pain can occur during menstruation with or without sexual activity, and can lead to lowered sexual interest or loss of libido. No matter what the cause of vaginal pain, your intimate relationships can certainly be affected. Keeping your relationship healthy may be a challenge. However, there are some helpful practical suggestions you and your partner can implement to help preserve your sexual wellness. Refer to the article on “Managing your relationship under painful sex”  for some other helpful hints to effectively manage your relationship - click here.

Make Time for Each Other

Women with vaginal pain may seek assessment from multiple healthcare professionals. They spend a considerable amount of time researching their syndromes. When a diagnosis is made, the treatment plan often involves multiple health care professionals and many appointments are often needed.  Time often is consumed with health care related concerns. It is important to get a break from vaginal and sexual pain.  Stay near and set aside some private time for your partner. Leave medical information at home and have a break from the pain and symptoms. Focus on each other and spend quality time together. It is important to plan adult time together, without children so that you can revive and nurture your relationship.

The Healing Power of Touch

Understand that it’s important to remain connected, even if it is a mere touch or sensual massage. Surprise your lover with a gentle touch or a warm caress when they least expect it. Staying connected with your partner is more about intimacy and love rather than sex. 

Resolve What You Can

It’s important to understand that not all problems can be resolved in one sitting, nor can all issues be addressed. Agree to set some issues aside and allow some time to pass before trying to tackle them. Agree to take an adult time out and do not think you need to solve all the problems at once. 

Reestablish Traditions

We get caught up in the day-to-day events of our lives. The routine of work and home often fill our days and we loose sight of other aspects of our lives. Sometimes it’s critical to reestablish forgotten traditions that you and your spouse shared in the past but for some reason have forgotten. Events like walks on Sunday afternoon, sending each other love notes  or e-mails and bringing surprise gifts are forgotten when we get consumed with our daily routines. Revive old traditions and start some new ones.


You may feel distant from your partner because of vaginal or sexual pain. You are concerned that every interaction or touch may be misinterpreted as a sexual advance. Discuss your concerns with your loved one and try to reconnect on an emotional level. Be silly, laugh and kiss. Hold hands when walking and share compliments with each other. Try dancing in the living room or share a quiet sunset. Keep reconnecting on an emotional and intimate level.  


Read more about symptoms affecting the vulva and vagina that may be causing discomfort or pain.

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Read more about vulvar and vaginal disorders that affect women and their quality of life.

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